Panic Over (for now)

So, a little while ago I had a little panic, mid-life crisis, whatever you want to call it.  It’s not completely over, but at least I’ve made some changes that have made me feel better.

First, I played with fiber, which always improves my mood.  And I’m planning to play with some more through the end of the summer.  I have more yarn dyeing planned so stay tuned for photos of that.

Second, I went to the beach.  I always feel better after going to the beach or walking in the dunes.  Maybe it’s the sound of the waves or birds, or the smell of the air as it flows over the water, or through the trees.  Whatever it is, it works.

Third, I started going to yoga.  I really believe yoga will save me, in many ways.  It forces my body to stretch and become strong.  Who would have thought sitting still would be such hard work?  I like that I just have to show up and someone tells me what to do.  I struggle with self discipline when it comes to things that are physically hard to do.

Fourth, I ended my employment at my new job at the end of the probation period.  It was never going to make me happy.  The job wasn’t what they sold to me in the interview.  They were happy to call it a mutual ending of the contract and were super nice about it.  I think it was clear to everyone that it wasn’t a good fit.  I told the HR woman that I think they need to figure out what they really want before hiring someone again.  I won’t go into any more details.  All the people there were lovely, friendly, welcoming.  It just wasn’t right for me.  Now I’m back to looking for a teaching job.  I think I panicked when I took this job.  I panicked about being unemployed and I didn’t stick to my guns when it came to what I really wanted.  I’m not going to settle again.

Fifth, and finally, I’ve decided to write a book.  I don’t want to spill the beans yet, except to say that it will be about knitting.  It will be a very specific topic in knitting.  I’ve got a detailed outline done and I’m working on filling it out.  I hope to finish it in a year.  At least that’s what I’m thinking now.  I have never written a book before so I don’t know if that’s a reasonable estimate or not, but it’s what I’m going with for now.

And that’s my story.  That’s how I got from feeling down and disoriented, to feeling like I have some kind of direction and feel good about it.  Life is fluid.  I need to just go with it.  And not panic.